Ah, the post that I’ve neglected writing for so so so long.
Why? I don’t know…
Is it the (sometimes snarky) comments I get about still working when I have kids to raise at home?
No.
Is it the I fear I will look like I have all of this figured out and know exactly what’s right/wrong?
Perhaps…
I am not quite sure what it is exactly but here it goes…
I hope this helps even one of you!
Here are some of my top asked questions when it comes to working full-time as a mom!
“WHERE do you work and what do you do?“
I work at Tiled. It is a software start-up company based out of San Diego and I have been there since 2016. I started out in social media, then transferred into more of a traditional marketing role, and now (since returning from maternity leave) I am managing all of our community efforts, both externally and internally. So I manage our creative community that has free access to our platform as well as manage all of our employees experience working at Tiled. Making sure they love their job is my job 😏 I love my company, my boss (nicest person ever), my coworkers, and I love that there is literally no drama between any of us ever. The dream situation for me!
I also love how accepting the Tiled culture is at having kids around. I am on Zoom calls with CEO of Tiled quite often and he LOVES when my kids are around, loves talking to/about them, and is never bothered when I have them with me. Even just this morning, my son wouldn’t sleep because he’s teething so I had him during our meeting together and he gave him a shout out in our company-wide call and told everyone my son was teething as a company update! 😂 This makes a HUGE difference (maybe all the difference) and more work cultures need to be more cognizant of how helpful this is for working moms.
WHY do you still work after having kids?
I think the people that ask this question don’t really know me well at all. If you know me, you know I am a HUGE busy body. I thrive being busy and working hard has always been a huge part of who I am. I got my first jobs right when I turned 16 (tried to get one at 15 and they caught me after one week and made me come back at 16 ☺️) at both a boutique in Holladay AND at the snow cone shack across the street. All summer long, I would work at the boutique from 10 AM – 2 PM and then walk over to the snow shack and work from 2 PM – 10 PM. That was a normal day for me in the summertime and I genuinely loved it.
I worked throughout college as a hostess (even though jobs were discouraged while on Cougarettes) and have had a full-time job ever since I graduated from college in 2013. I don’t think I will ALWAYS have a full-time job (maybe a couple more years.. my stock options are still vesting so we’ll see haha) but I do believe I’ll always have a job of some sort. I enjoy solving business problems, helping a team achieve something great, and feeling accomplished which are all things I get from having a job (in addition to being a mom which accomplishes those as well).
It also works logistically for us right now financially. A lot of people don’t realize how personal this is… but have you ever thought, “Maybe they don’t exactly have the option to work or not.” I could totally stop working and we could do without my income but things would definitely be tighter/different. So here is just a friendly reminder to not judge others for working as a mom because maybe they don’t even have the option not to!
“WHO watches your kids when you’re working?“
Luckily for me, I really do have the most helpful husband in the ENTIRE world. If anyone knows Will, you know that NONW of this would be possible without him. He is 100% why I can do all that I do. With him working from home right now due to COVID, we co-parent 50/50 and he is always willing to hold a baby or lend a hand. Without even being asked. He is so naturally hands-on and it helps immensely.
I have a nanny come (Wills sister!) twice a week for most of the day and that is my saving grace! It took me a long time to realize how much this actually did help and I’m so glad I don’t get stressed out about the cost anymore. The cost is soo (SOOO) worth it when I realize how much I get done when she’s here. Lucy teaches my daughter soo much (it’s like she’s in school!) and they are obsessed with each other which definitely eases the guilt but she also helps with things around the house which is a LIFESAVER! I’ll also have them do things together that I would normally do with my kids on any given day like the laundry, dishes, errands to the post office, Costco, etc. So when I’m done with work, the housework is done for the day and I can just be with the kids.
Lucy comes on Mondays and Thursdays (from about 10-4 usually) and I really do try to crank out as much work as possible on Mondays so I don’t feel as stressed/distracted the rest of the week. On the days that Lucy doesn’t come, I still manage to work about 4 hours during the day (mostly during naps) and about 3 hours at night after they go down to bed. If I am busy at night during the week, I’ll make it for it a couple of hours on the weekend. I am not a stickler with my hours but definitely work as much as I feel good about. I know when I feel behind vs. when I feel caught up.
HOW do you not have your kids addicted to the screen?
I am a pretty big enforcer when it comes to no screen time. For some reason, it freaks 👏🏼 me 👏🏼 out 👏🏼 so I really do try to limit it as much as possible. My daughter didn’t watch any TV until she was about 18 months old and now she only watches if it’s absolutely necessary (i.e. a meeting comes up or I just freaking need a break! haha)
I try to keep my daughter busy with activities that don’t involve the television or the iPad (she can only color on the iPad… never watch a show on the phone or iPad.. because once again, screen time, ESP. on phones freaks me out… also we have this coloring app for the iPad and love it) and I have all of the toys she plays with daily linked on this blog post. Her sensory bins in her IKEA table keep her busy for a long time too! Teach your kids to be okay with being bored! That’s where imagination comes from. I feel like so often as moms we feel like they need to constantly be entertained when they really don’t.
“HOW do you manage your time working, being a mom, running Utah Grubs, your blog etc.“
This is the question I get the most aaaaand I sometimes try to avoid it because I never want people to feel like they aren’t doing enough. Like I said above, I am a complete busy body but I am also not perfect at any of these things I do. I could probably always be a better employee, a more hands-on mom, or put way more time and effort into Utah Grubs and my blog but I just can’t. And I accept that and am fine with it because there’s literally no way I could do it all perfectly.
Something that has really helped me is prioritizing the importance of TIME MANAGEMENT! BECOME A MASTER AT MANAGING YOUR TIME WELL!
Set timers to get things done and work FASTER. I will start doing the dishes at 8:44 PM and challenge myself to have them all done and put away by 9 PM. It makes it a fun little game and challenges yourself to work fast so you can get more done. I set timers with so many other things (finishing a work project, folding all the laundry, etc.) and it seriously helps me fit way more into my day because I am not doing tasks mindlessly and nonchalantly. Every minute has a meaning! Haha.
Analyzing my screen time report that comes on Sundays on my phone (if you have an iPhone) helps me understand where I’m wasting time and where I can do better. Towards the end of my maternity leave, I started looking at how much time I was sending on my phone and on WHAT so I could gauge what was sucking up the most of my time. If you look at your screen time report and it says you spend around 3 hours a day on Instagram, that could be 3 hours you are working from home and don’t even realize it! Since I need all the time I can get now that I have two kids, I dramatically decreased my social media consumption (hence the horrible responses to DM’s now 😭) and deleted my Twitter and anything else that sucked even a little bit of my time. For me right now, it’s either being with my family or working and I don’t have much time for other mindless things on my phone to take my time away! So that’s a great thing to be aware of/keep in mind.
While interviewing Kimberly and Elizabeth from Establish Design for my Expert Series, right before we started filming I asked them how they managed running such a successful company while raising all their kids! Kimberly said something really profound. She said that by working full -time, she sacrifices other things like personal care, quality time with friends, and going on trips, etc. And I totally understand/get that! Sometimes in order to still work while also taking care of our families, we just have to make sacrifices in different ways that others don’t. We need to be okay with that and accept that. I miss out on plenty swim days with friends and now don’t even have time to get my lashes done or nails done… but I am choosing to be with my family vs. go do those kinds of things now. If I’m not working, I’d rather be spending time with my family. And if there’s a random time I can to fit some other fun things in, that’s just the cherry on top.
If you are a working mom out there, please be easy on yourself! Some of the best advice I’ve ever received when it comes to working as a mom was a comment I got on an Instagram post and it was from Caitlin Creer from Caitlin Creer Interiors. She said, “Working and being a mom is so hard. There are days you will feel like you were a good mom and bad at your job, and days you will feel like you were great at your job but could do better as a mom. In my experience, you just have to do your best day by day and know in the end that the unfinished tasks and people being impatient with you will not matter in the long run.”
Don’t you love that?
Take it all day by day.
Give yourself grace.
And drink a lot of caffeine in the process 🤪
Love you guys so much! ❤️
-Liv
Here is some advice from other work from home mamas!
- Focus/prioritize getting your kids to all nap at the same time!
- Have a daily goal list to get 3 things done each day for work
- Buy a sandbox!
- Have toys they can only play with during work hours. Makes it more exciting.
- Work FASTER.
- Limit all distractions when it’s work time. Leave your phone in the other room.
- Turn off text/email notifications while you’re working so you don’t constantly check other things
- Teach your kids to be self resilient and to be okay being bored while mom works. It’s so good for them!
- Outsource housework if you can afford it. Makes a huge difference!
- Let go of the guilt.
- Cosmic yoga TOGETHER. Gives us a minute to reset and connect before naps.
- Work where you can’t hear them. Have a designated office area.
- @busytoddler activities are your best friend.
- Keep the house organized so you feel like your life is in order even when it might not feel like it.
- Wake up super early and get lots done so you don’t feel as stressed the rest of the day.
