(weird, i know)
not one day.
not TWO YEARS.
he was my absolute favorite part of my life.
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| chaco, argentina 2011 |
sitting around crying my eyes out waiting for him to come home?
little did i know, i would be having two of the best years of my life as well.
I WENT ON ADVENTURES
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| nile river, uganda |
I WENT TO FOREIGN LANDS
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| prague, czech republic |
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| nazakedde, uganda |
I SERVED PEOPLE
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| my bff craig |
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| testing for AIDS |
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| dance team at BYU |
I ATE CRICKETS… so how is that for strange food?
I STILL BETTERED MYSELF EVERY CHANCE I COULD
and when Will came home, i actually felt like i had drawn closer to Heavenly Father in those 2 years than i ever had before.
by getting letters from Will, hearing of his experiences, and reading his testimony.. my testimony was strengthened in return.
and to be honest, i felt like Will & I had grown closer after being apart for 2 years!
and Will in return missed me more than ever.
he wrote me a letter every chance he could & we would mail memory cards back & forth so we could see videos of each other & hear each others voices.
we never knew how much we loved each other until we spent 2 years completely separated.
hardly any e-mailing (they weren’t allowed to e-mail friends when Will was out!), no texting, no calling… strictly letters.
but it was okay.
because i had two years of ME time (that’s what i liked to call it)
it was time for me to figure out the gospel for myself. to gain a testimony, for myself. to read the scriptures, by myself. to wake up & go to the temple by myself.
to know the church was true, for myself.
when Will came home from his mission in August of 2012 i felt like i had really made myself into the person i had wanted to be. i felt fully prepared to be married in the temple, one day raise my children in the gospel and continue to stay strong in the church the duration of my life.
in november of 2012, President Thomas S. Monson announced in General Conference that girls could now leave to serve missions at age 19 rather than at age 21.
i will never forget standing on the bleachers with Will at the st. george marathon and hearing the news and thinking to myself…. wait, should i go on a mission?!
i mean Will had sooo much school ahead of him still.. i could finish school before i left.. he could stay and make money for our marriage.. we lasted 2 years already.. i am sure we could last 18 more months apart.. we were going to get married no matter what so what difference does 18 months make?!
i felt sick for days.
ulcers & all.
suddenly i saw every single girl i knew turning in their papers and getting ready to go on a mission.
would it be bad if i just married Will and didn’t go serve?
would i be judged now?
obviously i think it is amazing the church decided to change the age for girls to leave on missions. this has gotten plenty of more girls out in the field & has impacted our church service immensely.
however, was a mission for me?
after much prayer, deliberation, fasting, getting blessings & going to the temple.. i found out a mission was NOT for me!
i sat in the temple one day and thought to myself… “who are some of the most influential, amazing women you look up to in life.”
after i thought of these specific women, i realized none of them served missions.
so what did that mean?
that means i can still be an amazing member of the church, mormon, mother, wife, friend and person without serving a mission.
i fear too many girls these day feel like if they haaave to serve a mission. fear that all of their friends are going out and if they don’t go they will be looked at like this loser that isn’t as strong in the church as they are.
for example, a mission was FOR my sister. her life was set out perfectly for her to serve. for me it was not. and that is OKAY!
and some girls aren’t.
my life wasn’t.
and we need to be okay with that.
from that day i made that decision not to serve a mission and stay & get married instead, i haven’t regretted it for a second.
because i still get to serve! every day!
i get to serve him
